Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A. Draw a circle and tell her to sit in the corner

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Life is like a vehicle. Husband and wife are 2 tires of the vehicle. If 1 punctures,the vehicle will not move.So brilliant people keep a spare tire.

Q. Why is Facebook so successful?

A. The secret of its success is that it works on the theory that people find other people's lives more interesting than their own.

My boss walked past my desk and asked me: "Why are you not working?"
I replied "Because I never saw you coming Sir".

Employee: I got to have salary raise. Three other companies are after me.
Boss: Really? Which are the three companies?
Employee: The electric company, the telephone company and the gas company.

Interviewer: Do you think you can handle a variety of work?
Candidate: Yes I think so, I have worked in 10 different places in the last 3 months.

Doctor: Have you ever fainted before?
Patient: Yes, the last time you told me your fees.